Things continue to go well. X was weighed and measured today. 39.8 pounds and 41 1/4 inches tall! We have broken another record for weight. Part of me really wants him to weigh 40 pounds. I feel like I can relax more if he is 40 pounds. When I write that out, I see how I am putting my security in a number. Hmmmmm. Any number on the scale is not going to give me any true security, and really, I need to feel secure in Jesus and the fact that He is taking care of us. In the horrible moments and the good ones.
X is fighting a cold. Today he was cranky, crying, yelling, and screaming a lot. Tonight he was sneezing and sneezing and sneezing. And he has a runny nose. This has sent me into panic mode.
Things have been soooo good. X has been happy and calm. We've been able to be out in public without epic tantrums. He has been doing crafts with me because he can focus and sit still and he has an attention span. He has been enjoying books read to him and he has been healthy and eating. He has also attended a homeschool preschool program and LOVED it and he didn't need me in the room with him. We have gotten the rate of his feeding up to 89 ml/hr. This is the fastest his rate has ever been. Ever. It's a big deal over here. I don't want this to end. I really don't.
This is where that battle of staying in the moment and freaking out over tomorrow ramps up. Heck, sometimes it's about not freaking out what may happen in the next hour, half hour, etc... This is where I need to pray to stay in the moment. We could be woken up tonight with a very sick child. It is possible. And he could lose some weight and take several steps backward in the eating department, etc.... But he might not. And when things have been bad, we have been taken care of. That is what I need to remind myself.
So, again, I will choose to not jump ahead to a future I really don't anything about. I am truly enjoying this time with X and seeing him the healthiest and strongest he has ever been.
Oh yeah, X is having his gj tube replaced on Oct. 15th. It will be 7 months since he had this last one put in. That is the longest he has gone without any serious issues since first getting his feeding tube. 7 months!! I can't believe it's been that long since we were in the hospital. That in itself is a glorious thing.
Tonight Craig said something about X having a cold, and X became very angry and was adamant that he was not getting a cold. I'm sure he knows that whenever he gets any type of illness, he throws up and becomes pretty ill and has doctor appts, etc.. He's a smart little guy. I often wonder how much anxiety he has that he just can't express. He can tell us a lot of things, but he is still only 4 years old. Whenever he starts throwing up from an illness I have to remind him that it doesn't mean he is going to the hospital and he tells me "but my brain keeps telling me I am". sigh
Well, I'm sitting with a pretty miserable little guy right now. We'll see how the night goes.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
No comments:
Post a Comment